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Diary of a Cunt Doctor
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Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in choochoohiggins' LiveJournal:

Tuesday, August 30th, 2005
7:31 pm
What is the difference between a school teacher and a steam locomotive?

The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says "Choo Choo Choo!"
Friday, July 8th, 2005
7:06 pm
Why would terrorists want to attack ChooChooTrains? Now I have to sit through another class with the DOT and the DHS. I may have failed my preemployment isokinetical evaluation. Which CSX called a strength test. Laptop was sick yesterday, I have lots to say...I will do it later. Beer calls.
Friday, July 1st, 2005
5:22 am
I have a physical at 330pm for work. i have to get checked for Prostate Cancer, usually they only do it of you are over 40, but the company requires everyone get checked. So around 330pm-400pm I'm going to have a finger up my ass. I hope its someone with small fingers, like a female or something.
Sunday, June 26th, 2005
2:16 pm
I went to watch the Mayweather VS Gatti fight last night at the WingHouse. Goodtimes. Kaz is a couple years younger than me and is from Maryland. He is Homesick, never spent time away from Baltimore and he says there are too many white people around here. Even though in our class of 19 we have six blacks. lol. He still hasn't unpacked his suitcase, and he's been here for two weeks. He said when its time to leave he's not wasting any time by packing, he's just going to zip his suitcase up and head home.

I felt bad for him so I went to Target and printed up some Digital Pictures and then bought a $1.99 photo album and put the pictures in it. It was the small kind of pocket photo album that kept one picture per page. I actually had this in an Email FWD, so it wasn't my idea.

NWS Reasons to Move to Florida NWSCollapse )
Friday, June 24th, 2005
5:57 pm
This guy Jesse that I go to school with is from Wildwood and he is a great guy. He's quiet and drinks beer and doesn't start shit. He's an older guy though...likes to fish and stuff.

He asked me if I wanted to go have a few beers while after class today, and I was like...sure. I've turned down offers from the other guys, but Jesse is laid back like me. We went to the Winghouse. Dude..it was awesome I love the winghouse. We had about a six pack each and then Jesse asked me if I wanted to go to the tittie bar. I said Naw... and he said..c'mon. I was like..I can't drink there, I just want to stay here..the girls here are good looking enough, and it's close to my hotel and i have beer and pool and darts. He said that I could drink at a bar that was just a topless bar, and that they didn't give lapdances or anything..so you wouldn't waste money on that. Just girls walking around without tops on and serving you beer. I agreed to go, and he asked for directions to the nearest one from our bartender. Who informed us she had worked there for 2 years before getting a job at the winghouse. That bitch didn't know east from west though and we ended up taking Atlantic Blvd and running into the coast. Where we turned south and hit 202 again and ended up back at the hotel. So...no tittie bar for me tonight.

Mark asked me to go to a full nude one with him tonight. The full nude ones you can't drink beer at though, I'd rather have beer than have pussy up in my face. Boobies and beer is perfect for me.
Oh well, I'm back at the hotel now and I finished my wings and left over pizza from 2 nights ago. I may go to the zoo tomorrow...I'm not sure.

The fucking maid never comes in here..I got back from looking for the tittie bar and was kinda mad that we didn't find it and walked into an unmade bed so I called down to the front desk and bitched about not having new linen on my bed...which they are suppose to do on Fridays. He transfered me to the managers voice mai and I was like..fuck this, so I walked down to the front office and demanded fresh linen. I couldn't be too mad at the guy behind the counter though, he was wearing a boston red sox hat and wasn't the maid...lol

I didn't pass the signal test, but 100% is passing. I know I did well, but I don't know my score...they just list it as pass or fail. I stayed up until 2am studying it, I can take it again anytime I want...but I only get 2 more tries so I'm going to make sure i know it.

I forgave mark for that comment yesterday. He never apologized for it, but I realized he's just young and sometimes young people don't realize what they are saying, or at least don't seriously mean it.
1:13 am
I'm pulling an All nighter studying for this signal test. It's rough. The gov gives you 3 tries to pass it though. This will be my first try. I should probably get some sleep, since I have 2 more chances. The more I think about that guy cheating on the signal test..the more it pisses me off. I usually don't care if someone cheats..so what... but he needs to know his signals. What if he runs his train thru a stop signal because he doesn't know what one looks like, and he hits my train head on. That's kind of a big deal. Not to mention that he threatened me.

You can't just cheat your way through these tests if you are going to run a train properly...you can get hurt or hurt someone else. God I sound like an adult and stuff. I need to stop.
12:59 am
I wanted to get a striped conductors hat, since the railroad doesn't give them out anymore and they are retired. What I found out is that the striped hats are ENGINEER HATS. You would think that working with the railroad for 3 years I would have known that, but like I said...no one wears them anymore. I'm still going to get me a striped hat, even if it is an Engineers hat and I'm a conductor. No one will know or care.
Thursday, June 23rd, 2005
7:35 pm
I usually keep to myself here at the hotel. I have a lot of my classmates living here and they usually get together to do things. Like go out to the tittie bar or out to dinner or sometimes they just hang out and drink beer. They even get together to study. I have a signal test tomorrow and it's something that I NEED to study, because I just don't know it. It's nothing that makes sense and there is no pattern to it.. You just have to memorize the signals and what they mean. I ran into the guy next door when I just went out on the balcony to enjoy the view and drink a beer. He was out too and said Eric was coming over to his place to study the signals and I asked if I could join them. He said sure.

We didn't do any studying though. Those two decided to go to staples to get the signal chart printed on the back of a zephyrhills bottled water label. We are allowed to have drinks in class. I told them I didn't want to do it. Mark threatened me and said that if I told on him he has family that works out there and they would make sure I got hurt.

First of all... I wasn't going to say anything. I just don't want to get caught cheating and get kicked out. I'd be out a lot of money and not have a job. I'd rather fail the fucking test than do that. If he wants to take that risk it's his own business. But to threaten me...now that pisses me off.
3:50 pm
I had my interview today. It was a joke really. I got interviewed by a guy named Matt Llewellyn, and he's in charge of the Jacksonville Division. Which goes from Jacksonville all the way to Miami and is split up into Subdivisions. It used to be called the Florida Business Unit, but now they have it broken into Divisions and SubDivisions and named our Division after the City that HQ is in..instead of the entire state that it covers.

I was asked if at my last job I was subject to random drug tests and when I told him I was I had to fill out a paper giving them permission to contact my former employer and ask them for my drug testing results. Of course they already HAD the results.

I was also asked what my life long goals were and I said to buy a piece of property in the country and retire. Has also asked me what the term "safety is a term of employment" means. I told him it meant that if I wasn't following the safety rules he'd come along and fire me. He said it sounded good enough for him and that's all he asked.

I also had my hair folicle test today. I don't know the results yet, i asked when we would find out and the only answer I was given was..no news is good news.
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005
7:59 pm
I shaved all my body hair. I still have my head hair, but I got it cut so that they can only take 1 1/2 inches tomorrow during the hair follicle test. 90 days is all that is required and hair grows ..on average 1/2 inch in 30 days. I think mine grows faster than that though.

Body hair replaces itself about once a year. So I'm thinking the THC would stay in there a little longer. Although I read that THC metabolites start breaking down after 90 days and that is the reason they can only test back 90 days. I've also heard of guys failing who haven't smoked pot in 7 months. Although they took armpit hairs from those guys. They have no choice except to take head hair now

God I love how smooth my whole body feels... I may keep myself like this.
Tuesday, June 21st, 2005
7:01 pm
I bought some nice SOLO disposable plastic cups so I wouldn't have to keep doing dishes...and I find myself putting the cups in the sink to wash so I won't throw them away and then waste money on buying more cups
Sunday, June 19th, 2005
12:45 pm
Deena came up yesterday and brought me some pillows and some clothes hangers and some microwavable popcorn coffee and coffee filters that I bought when I lived there and never used all up.
I took her out to eat Chinese and we were going to go to the movies but she said the line was too long and she didn't feel like waiting so we ordered a PPV movie.. Hitch It was a so so movie. It was really slow in the middle. She made my bed too. I told her that was the maids job and she shouldn't do it, but she did. never made my bed at home..wtf.

Right now I'm doing laundry and waiting for the Indians game to come on. I ordered MLB.TV so I can watch the game on the internet, but its really choppy on this hotels wireless. The audio comes in clear though. There is this barber who is changing careers and going to be a conductor. I saw him in the laundry room here at the hotel and he told me his room number, and said he'd cut my hair down to an inch and a half for me. I'll throw him a twenty.

I'm losing weight, I haven't actually weiged myself but I just look a lot thinner in the face. My face is more long that it is wide now, it at one time it was round like a pumpkin.

It's fathers day and I don't know if I will be able to get ahold of my dad or not. I have no idea what shift he is working right now.
Saturday, June 18th, 2005
12:41 am
I'm carrying a 98 average. Which isn't the top in the class. 2 people have 100% and 3 of us have 98%. So far we have had 4 quizzes with 25 questions each on them. I've missed one on two quizzes and gotten a 100 on the other 2. I haven't studied though. I've just been coming back to the hotel and getting on the Internet. I ordered the Indians games on MLB.COM so i could watch them on my laptop.

I've been sweating way too much. And Stinking too. I'm showering but, I don't know what's going on..I'm laying in bed smelling myself and I'm like...why do i smell like BO I just got out of the shower. This fucking sucks...I'm turning into a smelly fat person.

I wouldn't mind living in this hotel forever. It's $940 for 5 weeks and I have access to a gym, and a pool, and a maid comes to clean up after me.. No utilities and free wireless internet. (well it was a one time fee of $3.99) I'm really happy here. I bought some beer today. I thought I would want to drink but it turned out I didn't want to once I bought it. I had like 2 and was like...ewww drinking beer sucks.

I need to take more pictures, but digital cameras aren't allowed at school because people were taking pictures of the tests and showing them to the next class. Even though tehy were using picture phones and not a huge camera. Deena is coming up in the morning. I'll be glad to see her. Shes spending the night. I'm not sure if she will like hanging out in this room all day though, she'll probably want to go do something. bah...women. I'll probably feel like drinking beer tomorrow.

I like Jacksonville but the Fast Food is more expensive here for some reason. Subway wants $7.29 for a 12 inch chicken bacon ranch. Hell, I can get a pizza for $9.99

There isn't much to say. I've just been sitting in class watching the clock so I can come here and sit and watch the clock.
Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
4:33 pm
I've had 2 quizzes so far. The first one I missed one for a 96 (25 questions) and the second one I didn't miss any (also 25 questions) I've barely opened up a book. Last night this guy named eric came over to ask me about the drug testing policies of Psychemedics, which I have now printed out and made available for anyone in the class...hehe. I don't take them to school though, I have them stop by my hotel room if they want a copy. I also include a phone number where they can call and ask them questions. anyway, after he got all this information (he had taken percocets a few months back that weren't scripted to him) he asked me if I wanted to stop by his hotel room and study so i went down there for a little bit. not long ...like 20 mins. Then he got frustrated and said he was going to bed. I was there more to help him out than anything, thats been the only time I've opened a book to study. I've done the homework the past 2 days but they never collect it, so I'm going to stop doing it.

Tomorrow is a field day. Going to some tracks to learn how to tie handbrakes and stuff. they said it is suppose to be 94 degrees so we are only going to stay till noon.

There are 19 people in my class. 4 of them are named Eric, and 2 of them are named William. Five of them are black. I'm the second youngest. One of the Erics is 25. Out of 19 guys...only 3 of us smoke cigs. Isn't that weird? I'm also kinda known to be short...but not in this class..I'm like the 5th shortest. One guy only has a size 6.5 shoe, and he's black. He keeps telling us the thing about the size of a mans feet is a myth, but the thing about being black isn't. He's pretty funny. He's from Maryland and used to do the same thing I did. Drive the Van.

5 of us are from the Tampa area. 5 of us are from Baltimore, 6 are from Richmond and 3 are from Wildwood. The guys from Baltimore and Richmond keep bitching about the heat. They want to go to the Beaches and keep asking the guys from Florida to show them some nice beaches. Well fuck, the nice beaches are on the other side of the state.. I mean, Daytona is on this side ...but it sucks. Atlantic coast beaches are just all trashy in my opinion.

Steel Toe Boots always make my feet hurt. Even if I hardly walk in them. I had to wear them today, and we just sat in class all day. It's like an extra 5lbs on a foot though, and just walking makes them sore.
Tuesday, June 14th, 2005
4:36 pm
This Stagg chili i bought was some good stuff. It came in a box and took like 2 mins in the mircrowave. I need papertowels though, I have chili bean guts all over my microwave cuz i didn't have anything to cover it with. The maid is coming tomorrow though, she can clean it.
4:19 pm
There was a guy in a labcoat running around today with the hair follicle test results from the class that is ahead of me. I stopped and asked him what lab did the testing and he told me psychemedics. It was easy to act interested because the wing where we are is also the wing where they train cops and I acted like I was interested in the CSI aspect of the testing..hehe. I went to Psychemedics website and found a 800# to call...then asked them how far back a test goes...they gave me another # to call for "that type of question" 1-800-522-7424 and when I called that I got transfered to a guy. He told me 3 months.

Today the shoe truck came. CSX paid $75 for my shoes, except there were no shoes that were $75. I had to pay $25 of it out of pocket. And since I have small feet (8) The selection of shoes available to me was really limited. I wanted some Doc Martens but they didn't have any of them in 8s. So I ended up with some Timberlands. GRRR.
Monday, June 13th, 2005
4:25 pm
I haven't smoked pot since December 9th. When I signed up for conductors school they wanted to do a 90 day hair follicle drug test. I was fine with that. Last month they changed the wording to....a 90 day drug screening (that may go back 6 months) What the fuck does that mean?? I still wasn't horribly worried because dec 7th has been past 6 months. Today though, I was told by my instructor (he tod the whole class not just me) that they are going to go back 18 months. I didn't sign any papers saying I would agree to a screening that goes back 18 fucking months. The paper i signed said 90 days and I'm not signing another one. I got a loan to pay for this school. Deena cosigned it for me. it was for $6035. They are saying no refunds. I'm not going to ask for one yet, but If they screen back farther than what I agreed to...we are going to have a problem.

Other than that things are going well. I went to Publix and got some Mac N cheese, some pizza rolls, some lunch meat, some Stag Chili, Oatmeal, hotdogs, toothpaste, toothbrush, deodorant, bread, mustard, ketchup, milk hot dog buns, cheese, mashed potatos, shampoo, conditioner, and dish liquid. I spent $55 on all that shit. Oh I got popcorn and peanut butter too.

I have to admit that I am kinda scared about the drug test, but I can't just give up and go home... I'll still have to pay this loan money back. I owe it to Deena to at least give it a shot.
Sunday, June 12th, 2005
11:17 pm
I have my own voice mail at the hotel. My Number is (904)-642-9911 ext 1453 Not that I expect any of my LJ friends to call me. I drove around earlier looking for a place to buy a notebook and pens and I really like this area of Jacksonville. There is this one place called the Mellow Mushroom and they like make pizzas. I'm going to have to try it. I fucking left my toothbrush, deodorant, and cologne at Deenas house. I was there for one fucking night and Left shit. She won't drive it back up here to me either. its like 3-3.5 hours away. I guess I'm going to go to class tomorrow with icky breath, cuz this hotel doesn't provide little shampoo and toothpaste. Which is weird cuz it has little soaps.

I set my wakeup call for 5am, because I need to do some paperwork before I leave. They want a list of my employment for the last 10 years, even though I already gave them a list. Some dates are foggy though, I hope they lost the old list and aren't going to compare it with the new one.. hehe. Even though I never really exageratted on anything I doubt if the dates will be exactly the same. Remembering what years I worked where is hard. The last 5 years are easy though. 3 years for the railroad few months for AOL and i was in school.

I stocked the fridge with Mt Dew. I also bought paperplates but they are so fucking flimsy that they are worthless.
6:07 pm
I flew in to Orlando last night. Deena picked me up, but I was there for like an hour before I could find her. I didn't get back into Lakeland till 10pm. It actually took me longer to fly from Akron to Orlando than it did for me to get from Orlando to Lakeland. Grrr...

Today is Deenas Birthday. She's 43. It's also the anniversarry of the very first day we started talking on the internet. I took her out for lunch today. We were going to go to Cracker Barrel but there was a huge wait so we went to Applebees instead.

I found out that the hotel I'm staying in is usually $49.99 a night but that the railroad is paying for $20 of it a night, so it only costs me $30 a night. It's fucking nice too... I have a full size fridge...a microwave, coffee pot, stove top, toaster...a fucking toaster..i can have toast with butter and cinnamon. I also have a closet and an ironing board in it. not that I plan on doing any Ironing. I have wireless internet too for a one time fee of $3.99 Oh, and Free access to GoldsGym I think there is even a pool around but I haven't saw one.

I am going to go find the school so I know where to be tomorrow morning.

a few picsCollapse )
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